10. You can’t understand why the publisher won’t even consider a German translation deal for your autobiography titled My Struggle. 9. A quick textual analysts reveals that the most frequently used words in your Crimean War historical novel are “And,” “The,” “Of” and “Testicular.” 8. You lose a lucrative contract to write a celebrity’s autobiography [...]
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Dear 18-Year-Old Me, I know life might seem overwhelming right now, but take it from me – your older, wiser self – everything is going to be just fine. Still, there are a lot of things I wish I knew when I was your age. So I want you to listen carefully, because these are [...]
What’s this thing? Who are you? Why is there a camera strapped to that goat? Put on this dog mask Put on this human mask I’ve got to be honest, this isn’t really my ice-cream van The safe word is “hexobromobenzoate” I can’t come unless you whistle the theme from Hawaii Five-O I can’t come [...]
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